For the past few days, I have been thinking quite a lot about my past relationships, and, by an amazing coincidence, several friends have been telling me about theirs. And one particular response that has been coming up is something like “as if I’d ever put away with that…” – or, when thinking about my own relationships, “what the hell was I thinking?”

Have I become less tolerant? Maybe, but I’d like to believe that “tolerance” isn’t always a quality. Being “tolerant” in the sense of not being a bigot, of accepting different, unknown, new things in others is a quality, certainly (and a rare one, still, though humanity is slowly improving). But what about tolerance to things that are just plain wrong?

For instance, is it right to “tolerate” an abusive person? An authoritarian? Someone who demands respect for her feelings but doesn’t have a shred of respect for yours? Someone who demands that everything is exactly as she wants or she will leave? A guy who is obsessed about his car and forgets about you? A woman to whom the only thing that matters in the world is how tidy the house is, and who does everything in her power to make you feel like a monster if something is a millimeter out of place? Or what about someone who is insanely jealous and accuses you of flirting with other people every 5 minutes?

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