How to get your ex back: An assessment

Making your ex fall in love with you again is no easy task. However, this time you have notes on what worked and what didn’t during your time together. But many times we do not put this knowledge to good use. So here is a guide on how to get back with ex by using all the past information.

Take Time Off

Lay low for a while. The most important step in winning your ex back is not acting on impulse. Seeming desperate is never an attractive quality. You need to give yourself and your ex some time to cool off. Let your ex miss you.

Assess What Went Wrong

When you think about how to get your ex back, your mind goes into hyperdrive. You tend to think about cheap tactics like making her jealous. But that won’t work in the long run. You need to reflect upon what went wrong if the underlying problem is fixable or not. Sometimes it is better to let go.

However, if you are sure that the problem can be worked on, then you should make a list of the smaller more insignificant cause to the larger problem.

Work on Yourself

This is the toughest stage in getting your ex back. You need to try and change those habits that annoyed her. If you never fold your clothes and that pissed her off, then you must start folding your clothes and make it a habit. It is very important to know your flaws and try to improve them.

How to Get Your Ex Back

This will take a while and cannot be achieved overnight. But in a few days, you will realize if you can sustain this effort. You need to make a decision on whether she is worth all the trouble in the long run. If the answer is yes, then you can deem yourself ready for the next step.

Make the Contact

Get in touch with your ex. Keep your interactions simple and friendly. You should not seem like you want to get her back. Meet her for coffee or at a social gathering. Make her fall for you all over again. Make her relive all those fun moments that make her laugh. Show her why she dated you in the first place.

It is important to treat her like a friend. Make her forget that you guys dated. Once she is comfortable with your company start showing her that you have changed. He needs to feel that if she were to date you again things will be different. Do not mention dating her just yet.

Make Your Final Move

The right time to make a move will vary. She will start hinting you to get back. You need to catch up on these signals. Once you know, she wants to get back ask her out on a date. Show her a good time and before the night is over talk to her about getting back.

Once you have her back be good. Do not give her reasons to leave again. A mistake can be forgiven, but a habit cannot be changed.

Heaven and Hell, or nothing: which would you prefer?

Imagine that you had two options, and you could choose now, with no chance of going back later:

Choice A: there is no heaven or hell; no afterlife, no consciousness after you die.

Choice B: there is an afterlife, in heaven (eternal bliss) or hell (eternal torment), and you have a 10% chance of going to hell.

Which would you choose?

To me, if you don’t choose A instantly, you have never thought for a minute about what “eternal torment” – or even just the “eternal” part – means. Because the mere possibility of that, no matter how remote, should be enough to make anyone live in absolute terror.

Even eternal boredom is infinitely worse than the worst of monsters that ever lived deserves. Because there’s no escape, no reprieve, absolutely no hope of an end, of a sweet oblivion.

Now, as an atheist, I believe there’s no choice here: it’s A whether we want it or not. A theist probably believes the opposite.

Why don’t theists live their lives in abject terror? Well, some of them will use the “my god isn’t a monster and doesn’t send people to hell” argument. Of course, since that deity has no biblical basis, it’s obvious that it’s a god they’ve made up, with the traits they believe God should have. Since I don’t think belief shapes reality, I can’t accept that the god you or him or her or them – or me, if I wanted to – have invented can possibly exist. (As I’ve said many times on this blog, if you believe in a good god, you’ve made him up, and he can safely be dismissed.)

Others will believe that hell exists, but will be certain that, somehow, they’re completely free – or “saved” – from it. They’re sure that they have the proper “get out of jail free” card. Because they have faith in Jesus, because they have said the magic words, because they obey most of Moses’ law or Mohammed’s rules. Somehow, they’re certain that they belong to the right religion – the right branch of the right religion – even though most of the world doesn’t. They probably have the same religion as their parents, making their religion – and, according to their beliefs, whether they’re saved or not – a matter of chance, of geography.

And they don’t think there’s a non-negligible chance of ending up in eternal torment. They’re not in complete terror every moment. They can lead normal lives.

It boggles the mind.

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