A reader called Matt commented the following in another post:
I don’t hate God, but I’ve suffered an insane amount pretty much my whole life and I’ve had lots of hateful thoughts about God combined with bad feelings which I can’t necesarily help.
I’ve been a christian whole life and feel like I’m worst off than most. I felt religion and spirituality had alot to do with my pain (combined with my anxious shitty mental disposition) so have often felt let down and bitter, feeling like religion f’ked me up, but God did nothing to help, feeling like would have been better if never thought about spiritual, religious things relating to God.
Obviously life isn’t fair, one might say as great as God is, he isn’t perfect? I mean who decided to make this earth-even God got mad with it and wiped it out with a flood (in the Bible).
I also feel frustrated with the thought of people going to hell, I mean God (and parents having sex) makes us (much of who we are is not what we choose), how can God condemn his own creation at it’s expense; mind, body, spirit and environment we’re raised in? And what about a bit more responsibility for looking after your creation, I mean what do they call a father who doesn’t look after his kids; dead beat dad? or someone who doesn’t look after their pets? Oh but God gave us free will(did I ask for it?), well my free will is to not have free will if that helps me have a life.
It’s says in bible that God so loved the world that he gave his only son, I’m not disagreeing, but I also think he had a obligation to save us from sin or ultimately hell (God can’t stand sin being so holy). Ok he can’t stand sin so the unsaved soul doesn’t get to go to heaven with him, but wouldn’t it be more loving to not make hell such a horrid place, unless your like an evil tormenting demon. I honestly don’t think Ive ever done anything to deserve eternal burning flames of hell, and if I was a horrible person (honestly how much control does a person have over the type of person they become? -being a product of genes and environment - a born psychotic or abused as a child?).
Maybe their should be like an in between house, where don’t live in heaven or hell, or maybe could just obliterate the unsaved soul so that cease to exist I know what I’d prefer if not going to heaven.
I’m not saying God isn’t good, but right now i feel somewhere along the line that God did the deed and we’re paying for it. But if you really want to hate someone hate Satan, according to the bible his messing things up was very deliberate and selfish unlike the loving God.
Matt: the fact that you have doubts and are courageous enough to admit so and write about them is a step in the right direction. Christianity, like most religions, certainly works a lot by creating guilt (“God loves you! How can you doubt him / not love him back, you monster!?”) and fear of eternal damnation. But, if you have admitted that many parts of Christian theology don’t make a lot of sense, that they even paint God as a somewhat cruel being, why not go all the way, and check every premise that you’ve been taught, or that you’ve always believed in without question, up to and including the very existence of a god?
I’m not trying to “convert you to atheism”, or anything like that (atheism isn’t a religion, anyway). But think about it: if something doesn’t survive honest questioning and investigation, what does it say about that something? If you can only keep your faith by not ever thinking critically about it, what does it mean? I’ve been there, too, years ago: religion, to me, was something I was afraid to think about, to point a flashlight at, because I’d always known — maybe by instinct — that it would all begin to unravel if I did so. So I spent decades of my life afraid to think about religion, just “believing”. Until, one day, enough was enough. As I said, if my beliefs only survived because I was too afraid to think about them, what did it mean? That they were probably wrong, of course.
Even if it turns out there is a god, if he would actually punish you with eternal torment because of honest doubt, because you dared to question and use your mind, then he would be an evil, sadistic monster. If, on the other hand, there turns out to be a loving, benevolent deity after all, he will surely prefer honest doubt and sincere truth-seeking to blind faith and robotic worship, to turning off your mind.
Above all, don’t be afraid. You may be told that “you soul is at stake”, and that doubt leads to hell. But don’t be afraid to question, to express your doubts, and to not be satisfied until you find an answer, even though you may be told that you already have an “answer” and that you shouldn’t ever think about it any more. There’s something else at stake, something I believe is infinitely more real and important than any dubious, unseen, undefined “eternal soul”: your happiness. Your intellectual honesty. Your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Your respect for truth and reality. Your freedom from fear and guilt. Your life.
All of those are real. They exist, and affect your life, without question — unlike most of the claims of religion, which are far from self-evident at best. And anyone who tells you that the above are meaningless, that your happiness isn’t important, that life is just a test, that you should “hate the world” and your life, and that the only thing that matters is whether you are “saved” from hell, that an unseen “god” owns you and you owe everything to him… anyone who tells you that, is not your friend. “Hell” does exist: it’s living life in pain, guilt and fear. It’s hating yourself for the “sin” of using your mind. It’s believing that you deserve damnation.
I’ve never written about this particular topic before, so I’m probably not the best assistance you (or anyyone else) can get, but if you (or anyone else) have any questions about this, please comment, and I’ll try to answer them as well as I can. Threats of eternal damnation / emotional blackmail, to me or to Matt, will be deleted, though.








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