I’ve written here, in the past, about the general dishonesty and corruption at my workplace - and, unlike some, I don’t think I’m in an especially “bad” place. From experience, both mine (it’s my 7th job or so) and others’, this place isn’t really so bad, compared to other companies.
Yet, the level of hypocrisy I have to maintain… disgusts me.
And, no matter how much I try to avoid it, I always think of Ayn Rand’s “The Fountainhead”’s Howard Roark, and how he ended up working in a granite quarry, because he refused to compromise on his principles.
Of course, Rand’s books are exaggerated - they’re books of extremes, of “black and white”, without shades of gray. I have responsibilities, I have a house to maintain, cats to feed, and debts to pay. I have dreams, which, while not directly related to material possessions, include some material possessions in them. So I can’t - right? - leave my job because of a “normal” level of hypocrisy, of intrigue, of “rewarding the bad workers and punishing the good”. Besides, most places are as bad as this one. And working on my own is still a bit far away.
Still…
I sometimes wonder if I’m not really sacrificing myself - what really matters, such as my integrity, my sense of honesty, and my self-respect, for something that, while important, isn’t that important.
Because I certainly don’t like myself as I say “good morning” to the department head, when I have absolutely no reason to respect him, know he’s incompetent and a liar, and wish him the worst morning in the world.
Related posts:
Subscribe to this blog
Next time instead of saying “good morning” Just nod your head. That may be a better way
of dealing with being so upset. And that you can feel good about not saying it ha. Or
just say morning..
Aloha.
Quitting abruptly versus resignation to interminable suffering aren’t the only two options. My advice would be to start doing the prep work to finding employment elsewhere, somewhere you really want to be. You don’t have to quit one job before you start to look for another.
And if possible, take some night classes in a field you really want to be in.
The more prepared you are to leave, the less power your current employer has to make you stay.
And you might look at a little self-employment on the side; if you’re the creative type, begin writing a book. Nobody needs to know about it until it’s ready to submit for publication. If you’re mechanically inclined, repair lawn mowers on the weekends. Find something you love to do and figure out a way to do it for money. Maybe it’ll grow into a full-time opportunity.
Under my list of favorite books is THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand.
Perhaps Howard Roard wasn’t too far off the mark when he worked in
the quarry rather than sacrifice his principles. However, all of life is
about balance, and as you so capably point out, it is easier to
live a philosophy in fiction, than to truly “live it out” in our day to day lives.
Is there a place you could go where you would not be daily bombarded with
such challenge to your own philosophy. Try to find it.
I wish you every blessing.
Shirley Buxton
shirleybuxton.com
I got myself in the habit of saying “Morning”. FWIW.
in an orwellian society, doublethink was necessary to survive, without going to political prison.
It is all about choices. Can I have all of the luxuries and experience all of the same things as those who are part and parcle of the system while still living by principle? Probably not. So I choose what is important to me. This of course changes the oppotunities available to me, but still it is all a matter of choices.