Comments on: Sex and “diminishing people”

By: elle

elle — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:51:04 +0000

Most people still hold onto the values of marriage and sex is so intimate an act that especially women want it to lead to something more. Duh!

By: Logic

Logic — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:53:42 +0000

There is an inherent flaw in leyna’s analysis. Basically, leyna is saying that if you don’t value property A, and treat property A superficially, then you have a superficial identity. How someone values property A is subjective and it is self-righteous to claim someone else’s subjective view/value as superficial just because they don’t also hold the same value as you do.

Leyna places a high value on sex, therefore leyna should seek like minded folks. However, for those who don’t value sex the same as leyna do not imply that they have a superficial identity or that they would develop one.

Humans don’t function on a linear trajectory. A thoughtful analysis/observation of humans reveals the paradoxical and non-linear paths that humans follow.

By: (('{~_~}'))

(('{~_~}')) — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 14:54:15 +0000

You make a very good point!

By: leyna

leyna — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 16:38:36 +0000

People wind up feeling used when they try but don’t really believe that sex is just physical, as pop culture would have one believe. If two people who engage in casual sex truly understand and accept it as casual, then they wouldn’t feel diminished. One might then conclude that under those circumstances promiscuity is healthy. But I fear believing sex to be something so superficial may lead to a more superficial identity in general.

By: david

david — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 14:23:19 +0000

I have always believed that sex was more than just ameaningless act. that if you decided to have sex with someone, it should be with someone you loved. I believed in a certain level of trust that cold only be achieved between two people who truly loved each other.

By: Rasta

Rasta — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 11:11:55 +0000

I guess a lot depends on how you develop - the association we’re taught between sex and attachment. Whether you’re the kind of person who can keep them well apart or the kind who can’t, your only responsibility is to make sure the other party understands that. If you don’t, then you’re basically taking something under false pretences - and you’re no better than any other kind of confidence trickster; whether you’re promising eternal love to get a one-night stand, or offering a one-stand with a view to acquiring eternal love.
If you go against your own core belief, however, you shouldn’t be too surprised to find yourself feeling “diminished”, “lowered” or “reduced”. After all: you’ve just gone against one of your own principles, so they seems a pretty appropriate responses, doesn’t it?

By: Kanzentai

Kanzentai — Thu, 08 Sep 2005 22:13:24 +0000

(bloody hell! my reply was bigger than that, damn that BBcode!!)

By: Kanzentai

Kanzentai — Thu, 08 Sep 2005 06:24:31 +0000

You are entitled to our opinions, oh most glorious anonymous one. I’d like to have name to pray to, but you’re just ->above

By: Dehumanizer

Dehumanizer — Sat, 27 Aug 2005 09:13:13 +0000

Thanks for the comment. But aren’t you assuming a lot? Did I talk about me at all? Or did I defend sex as ‘just sex’ as being better than sex as part of ’something more’?

Nope.

What I said was that sex by itself, IMO, is not ‘dirty’, and doesn’t make one a worse person. And I think it’s weird to be OK with ‘just sex’ at first, and when the other person doesn’t fall head over heels for you, you feel used and hate him or her.

But maybe it’s me who is the weird one…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Aug 2005 03:51:03 +0000

I’m such a person… I don’t know why it is…
It never annoyed me. I seek those who think the same, if i have sex with a woman it’s likely to be a woman who wants the relationship to be “something more” too.
Many people are like this. Because sex is something intimate… You only do it with someone you trust to some extent, etc… Nope? I think it’s normal to feel “used”(?) if in the end it turns out to have been just sex and nothing more…
I think YOU are a weirdo!
And people like you… You are missing a lot. The intimacy, hope. The feeling that it’s something special; important. That it can become a relationship for life…
You are just a machine.

By: velvetsatine

velvetsatine — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 16:48:28 +0000

The question here is not that simplistic.

But since I don’t agree with you on the sex topic I’ll keep my thoughts to myself.

By: Dehumanizer

Dehumanizer — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 12:52:09 +0000

Dumb (but appropriate) comparison: it’s like going to a store, buying an opaque box which says “bananas”. Then you go home, open it, it really contains bananas. “Damn, I was sure it had apples… I’ve been swindled! I’ll go to the store and complain!”