Why do some “former” computer geeks tend, at some time, to blame their “geekness” (and computers in particular) for any perceived lack of social success - also known, in this case, as “having no life”?
It’s a strange phenomenon that I have observed several times in my life - there comes a time when, suddenly, a person “decides” that computers, and their interest in them, are to blame for having few friends, for not having a girl/boyfriend, for not being popular - in short, for not being “normal”, and socially successful.
So, they try to cut all ties to computers. Some sell or give away their PC(s), and afterwards boast to people about not having one at home (“I have a life, you know…”). If they have a computer-related job, they either change jobs, if possible, or, if that can’t be done, they begin to hate their jobs, they lose all drive to learn anything new about the subject - only the minimum required to be efficient at their job, and nothing more.
But, after doing that, do they become happier? Not according to what I see.
You see, the problem here is that computers are an easy scapegoat, but not the real “culprit”. There are many possible causes for not being a social success - and an article about that would be much longer than this one - but those are related to people, not to their hobbies or tastes. Yes, it’s possible to be so addicted to computers that you forget about everything else - including eating or personal hygiene - but those are extreme cases, and even then it’s not really about computers, but about addiction.
But, of course, it’s always easier to blame something from the outside than to admit that the problems may lie inside yourself…
Believe me, it’s quite possible to improve your social skills, to create or enlarge a circle of true friends, to be accepted for what you are, and to develop a real relationship with someone without sacrificing a hobby which gives you joy in your life.
Of course, if you really find out that you’re bored with computers and technology, that’s another story. But if you aren’t, then don’t fall into the trap of “my life is ruined because of computers! I have to get rid of them so I can have a life!”
Related posts:
Subscribe to this blog
I agree with you on this one. It is a problem of addiction.
Yes, addiction is the main problem, yet its “target” is also something that must be handled with care. It is easier to drop an addiction by not having what it is one is addicted to close by, right? Yes, selling the thing is an extreme measure, I’d go for something like “lending” it to someone or having them store it for me for a while.
That’s one way to attempt “rehab”.
One can always go the harder way which is to stop (insert object here)-ing at will and attempt to do something else instead every once-in-a-while.
It’s like any addiction, only harder on the eyes, instead of on the lungs, liver, arms, penis or vagina.
Thanks for the comments, but you both misunderstood my point. I only mentioned addiction in one paragraph, where I mentioned a real case where the use of computers could be harmful - in the case of addiction, but even then it’s not really about “computers”, but about the addiction itself.
But the whole rest of the article wasn’t about addiction, it was about the error (which I’ve seen several people do) of blaming computers for one’s lack of social skills and social life, and repudiating them as an easy scapegoat. People who do so weren’t addicted in the first place, they just had a hobby - and then, at a particular time, they suddenly cried “I don’t have a life! And it’s all those pesky computers’ fault!”